July 2010
5 posts
Adrian Chiles
The following is a work of pure fiction, based on the experiences of a fictional character in a fictional meeting with a fictional version of ITV television presenter, Adrian Chiles.
It should not be read by minors.
It was touch and go. One wrong move, and Chiles’ pile might drop, suspended as it was on a dwindling tissue-string, stuck fast by a single strand of congealed mucus. The...
2 tags
Gillian McKeith
The following is a work of pure fiction, based on the experiences of a fictional character in a fictional meeting with a fictional version of controversial nutritionist, Gillian McKeith.
It should not be read by minors.
‘It’s no good, Gillian!’ I exclaimed. ‘There’s something about your repugnant skeletal form that just isn’t doing anything for me!’ I pointed down at my flaccid...
2 tags
Robbie Coltrane
The following is a work of pure fiction, based on the experiences of a fictional character in a fictional meeting with a fictional version of actor and comedian, Robbie Coltrane.
It should not be read by minors.
‘Christ almighty, Coltrane!’ I shouted at Robbie Coltrane’s buttocks. ‘I’ve been sucking fizzy jism out o’ these pipes for two hours! I can’t ‘ave emptied that much up there,...
2 tags
Vanessa Feltz
The following is a work of pure fiction, based on the experiences of a fictional character in a fictional meeting with a fictional version of TV & Radio presenter, Vanessa Feltz.
It should not be read by minors.
I was awoken by the squawking of what sounded like a titted cockerel.
I was in an alien bed – all pink, tattered sheets and a horrific, fudge-spattered duvet.
‘GOOD...
2 tags
Brian May
The following is a work of pure fiction, based on the experiences of a fictional character in a fictional meeting with a fictional version of Queen guitarist, Brian May.
It should not be read by minors.
‘It’s fantastic Brian!’ I ejaculated.
Not from my winkle – that would come much later.
‘I’m, so glad you like it’ replied the country’s number one axeman, guitar supremo Brian May.
...